This one has to do with a single rule (see part 1 and part 2: Don’t use cliche openings.
Inspired by the last two, I made this into one big cliche’d story (original).
I’m not editing this mess. TW – mixed tenses.
It was a dark and stormy night during the best of times and worst of times, once upon a time, in a land far away.
There lived a teenage princess who didn’t want to fit into social norms. So she threw out her dress, put on her leather outfit, and couldn’t decide on who to love between two men who pined for her daily. One was a jerk to her, and the other was a Nice guy who bought her roses, and candy and stared through her window from the bushes daily, wondering if she would ever choose him over the jerk.
Then the World was in trouble, An asteroid was headed for her kingdom. The king tried to prevent her from going out. In the ensuing struggle with the guards, she was cornered at a window with no escape. It looked like that she would be captured and brought to her room to die with everyone else.
Suddenly, a dragon appears at her window saying that she was the chosen one and whisks her away where she is trained by an elderly and wise wizard who tells her that when the asteroid hits, there will unleash an evil that no one has ever known.
Meanwhile, the king and the two men go out to save her from the dragon, not knowing that she went willingly. They constantly tried to one-up each other in mini contests.
In the mountains, the princess goes on a quest to find the unobtainium, which will stop the evil. She meets up with the two men and a fight between the two ensues, while the princess tries to stop it. The asteroid lands and kills both men.
Then, the asteroid cracks open and out jumps an alien who wants to destroy the land. The princess immediately fell in love, and the Alien was taken by her. It turns out that the unobtainium was in her all along and love conquers all.
Copyright note: Just steal it and make it your own slap-stick comedy. Let me know when it’s published. I’d love to read it.